1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:01,840 Hello, everyone. 2 00:00:02,060 --> 00:00:03,060 Hey, Daddy. 3 00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:04,220 Sun? 4 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:06,480 Ah, it's a beautiful day, huh? 5 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,560 The sun is brighter and the roses smell fresher. 6 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,760 And does anyone know why? 7 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,660 You clipped your eyebrows and mustache so you can actually see and smell things 8 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:17,660 now? 9 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,860 Oh, Michael, you what? But I can't hear you today. 10 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,280 Well, you had the trimmers up, bro. You should have done your ears, man. 11 00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:29,640 I met the love of my life online. 12 00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,500 Her name is Lindsay, and she's perfect. 13 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:34,520 Well, she has one flaw. 14 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:39,280 Her breasts are slightly larger than I'm used to. 15 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:43,340 But, oh, well, I guess I'll have to deal with it. 16 00:00:45,900 --> 00:00:49,840 Daddy, how do you know you're in love? How many times have you gone out with 17 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,200 her? That night was her first date, and it was magical. 18 00:00:53,580 --> 00:00:56,400 She said I'm the most handsome man she'd ever seen. 19 00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:57,740 Oh, that's so nice. 20 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,520 So when you kissed her goodnight, did her seeing eye dog growl? 21 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:08,900 She's not blind, she's crazy about me, and we are going out again tonight. 22 00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:14,400 You, however, will die alone with your underwear full of capwebs. 23 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:22,720 You know, Benny, the Internet might be the perfect way for you to meet a man. 24 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,340 I got my own ways of meeting men. 25 00:01:26,060 --> 00:01:28,200 I drink until they look like Tom Selleck. 26 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:34,880 But you haven't had a real relationship in over a year. Maybe it's time to throw 27 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,840 your net out there and see what you can catch. 28 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,500 Angie, please. My mom's already caught enough things from dating. 29 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:48,220 George, your mom's perfect man might not be in L .A. He could be in a trailer in 30 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:49,220 North Carolina. 31 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:50,940 Or a trailer in Wyoming. 32 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,980 Or a trailer in Alabama. 33 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:57,160 I got it. Operation Take Out the Trash. 34 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:03,640 Look at that. There are thousands of men on this website in your age range. 35 00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,580 Mom, come on. Let's find your dream man. 36 00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:08,740 I'm not going to do this. I don't need help meeting a man. 37 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:10,940 You need help meeting a good man. 38 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:15,360 Somebody that doesn't turn to you at last call and say, Hey, buddy, why don't 39 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,360 go out and get a couple chicks? 40 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,600 what? It would be nice to meet a good man. 41 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:34,300 A guy who wouldn't interrupt the date every five minutes to go call his wife. 42 00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:42,120 Okay, look. Here's a profile builder with a bunch of questions. 43 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,540 Alright. Preferred age range? 44 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,440 Um, legal and up. Okay. 45 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,760 What's your idea of a fun date? 46 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,020 Cockfights are fun. 47 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,620 I'm going to put down bird watching. 48 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Hobbies? 49 00:03:01,420 --> 00:03:02,860 Drinking, smoking, gambling. 50 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:05,920 Ideal companion? 51 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:08,080 Drinker, smoker, gambler. 52 00:03:10,420 --> 00:03:12,060 Let's see if we have any matches. 53 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,740 Hey, look at that. Three guys came up. Let's see their pictures. All right. 54 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:20,740 There's one. The next one. 55 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:24,080 All right. 56 00:03:28,170 --> 00:03:29,170 Okay, you know what, Mom? 57 00:03:29,270 --> 00:03:30,270 Here's $30. 58 00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:31,630 Tom Selleck's on me tonight. 59 00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:42,030 Hey, Dad, when did I have my first beer? 60 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:43,550 When you were 21. 61 00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,070 But most of my friends have already gotten drunk. 62 00:03:46,670 --> 00:03:47,990 I want to see what it feels like. 63 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:50,810 Let me tell you a tragic story about what happened to someone who started 64 00:03:50,810 --> 00:03:52,710 drinking at your age. Grandma, the end. 65 00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:02,890 Eddie? Eddie Carter, right? 66 00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:05,770 Yeah. Do I know you? 67 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,030 George Lopez. 68 00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:09,810 Remember you used to go out with my mom, Benny, when I was a kid? 69 00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:11,890 Oh, yeah. 70 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:13,190 Little George. 71 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:18,750 Man, I remember when you were a kid and you had a skinny body and a giant head. 72 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:23,590 And now you're older. 73 00:04:25,130 --> 00:04:26,810 Hey, this is my son, Mac. 74 00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:30,440 This guy is great. When he was going out with your grandma, he used to take me 75 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,160 to Dodger games, buy me hot dog souvenirs. He bought me my first beer 76 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,160 14. 77 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,580 Innings into a great game on my 21st birthday. 78 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,080 So, uh, how's your mom? 79 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:49,260 I bet she left the factory, settled down, and married a good man. 80 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,640 You know, sort of. I mean, she's still at the factory. Her house burned down, 81 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:56,640 and she got left at the altar, so it's not the worst year she's ever had. 82 00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,240 What about you, Eddie? You ever get married? 83 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,220 Yeah, a couple of times, but it didn't work out. 84 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,940 I'll never find another woman like your mom. 85 00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:07,420 We've been looking. 86 00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:12,520 Hey, I know you guys had some rough times, but Benny was all right. 87 00:05:13,060 --> 00:05:15,000 When you see her, tell her I miss her. 88 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:20,200 Hey, you know what, Eddie? Why don't you tell her yourself? 89 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:23,300 I'm having a barbecue at my house tonight. She'll be there. 90 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:24,640 Why don't you come on over? 91 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:26,380 Oh, thanks, George. 92 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,960 It'd be nice to see Benny again. 93 00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,300 She was one classy lady. 94 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,940 Just to be sure, this is my mom, right? This is the Benny you're talking about? 95 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,500 Yeah, that's her. 96 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,740 Man, she got better looking with age. 97 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,080 How many fingers am I holding up? 98 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,600 Three. Are you on medication? 99 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,220 No. All right, I'll see you tonight. 100 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:50,440 Okay. 101 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:04,150 Oh, and a bottle of wine and some flowers. 102 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,010 I got a date tonight. 103 00:06:14,070 --> 00:06:18,390 All my friends know the lowrider. 104 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,640 I just got my letters from Northwestern, Iowa, and Columbia. 105 00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:37,900 Oh, it's going to be a tough choice. They're all great colleges. 106 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:43,040 Oh, Northwestern, my first choice. The only school I really want to go to. 107 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:51,939 You know what? 108 00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:56,200 You don't want to go to school in Chicago anyway. It's a windy city. A 109 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,200 college for hair. 110 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:04,620 I can't do this. You do, Iowa. 111 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:11,680 You know what? 112 00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:13,860 I have a great feeling about Columbia. 113 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,100 Sorry, honey. 114 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,980 Who wants to go to New York anyway? 115 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,800 shopping and theater and nightlife. Stupid city never sleeps, and I need my 116 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,800 eight hours. 117 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:39,300 Carmen, don't be too upset. There's still a letter coming from northern 118 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,320 State. Go, maple tappers. 119 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,700 Angie, I got the ginger ale for your stomach. 120 00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:51,420 Thanks. 121 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,760 George, Carmen just got rejected from northwestern Iowa and Columbia. 122 00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:57,140 Hey, the hell with them. 123 00:07:57,550 --> 00:07:58,550 Carmen still got Vermont. 124 00:07:58,650 --> 00:08:01,830 And if that don't work out, she can go to Valley Community College like her old 125 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:02,830 man. She'll be a legacy. 126 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,410 He dropped out after two weeks. 127 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,670 That's two more weeks of college than you had. 128 00:08:13,630 --> 00:08:15,350 Jealousy is so ugly. So high school. 129 00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:30,270 bringing you a beer. 130 00:08:30,770 --> 00:08:32,789 Because I love you, Grandma. 131 00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:37,530 And I'm going to drink this beer because I love it. 132 00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:42,530 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 133 00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,450 Don't get that yet. What are you doing? 134 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,870 I got a surprise for you. I ran into one of your ex -boyfriends at the 135 00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:50,290 convenience store. Mom, you remember Eddie? 136 00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:52,190 Eddie Garcia? 137 00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:53,770 Eddie Johnson? 138 00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:55,570 Eddie Camacho? 139 00:08:57,290 --> 00:08:58,830 No, you guys had something special. 140 00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:00,390 Uh -huh. 141 00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:03,930 Big Eddie Bergman. 142 00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,430 Fast Eddie. Freaky Eddie. 143 00:09:08,650 --> 00:09:09,650 Mom! 144 00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,490 Slow, steady, sweaty Eddie. 145 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:16,750 What are the John Collins? 146 00:09:18,450 --> 00:09:20,810 Your classy lady's waiting for you. 147 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:23,590 Eddie Carter. 148 00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:25,350 Hello, Bonita. 149 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:30,890 You look just as lovely as the day you chased me out of your house with a hot 150 00:09:30,890 --> 00:09:31,890 iron. 151 00:09:33,270 --> 00:09:35,570 I still got the triangle on my ass. 152 00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:41,030 Considering where I was aiming, you were lucky you turned around. 153 00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:44,530 Eddie, this is my wife, Angie. 154 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:45,750 Nice to meet you. 155 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,170 I wonder if you could come outside for a moment and talk. 156 00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,500 The only good guy my mom ever dated. 157 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,260 Why'd she break up with him? Who knows? You know, some things just happen. I 158 00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,260 mean, why does the wind blow? 159 00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:12,360 Because air naturally moves from a high -pressure system to a low -pressure 160 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:13,360 system. Wrong. 161 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:15,860 Nice try. 162 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,860 Then where does it come from? Nobody knows. That's my point. 163 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,740 Check it out. They're hitting it off. 164 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:23,960 How do you know? 165 00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:30,160 Remember when we went to the zoo and the rhinos were about to... It's like that. 166 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,440 They're trying to figure out who's the dominant male. 167 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,000 We're going to go for a little drive. Why don't you start dinner without us? 168 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:39,720 Okay, you kids have a good time. 169 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,980 And just so you know, Eddie, her curfew is the first week of August. 170 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:47,380 If you're going to keep her, I'll pass then. Really, bro, thank you. 171 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,560 George. 172 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,700 Dude. Don't keep things from me, all right? 173 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:58,180 I'm your friend. You need to tell me the truth. 174 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,320 Okay, fine. I submitted your name to Extreme Makeover. 175 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:08,700 They might be able to do something about those ears. Might. 176 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,800 I'm talking about Mel and Jack. 177 00:11:13,060 --> 00:11:14,660 I heard they were going to close a factory. 178 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,740 What? Who told you that? 179 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,300 Well, Michelle from accounting was asking me out on a date. 180 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,660 And Mel and Jack walked by, and I heard them talking that they were going to 181 00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,660 sell the factory. 182 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,620 That doesn't make any sense. Michelle is hot, man. Why would she ask you out on 183 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,620 a date? 184 00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:31,740 Not hot Michelle. 185 00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:32,980 Nasty Michelle. 186 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:36,820 What's going on with the factory? 187 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,580 Let me call Mel and Jack. 188 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,760 Ernie, did you get that stuff for the barbecue we forgot? 189 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,800 Oh, no. The convenience store is closed, man. It's all taped off. It just got 190 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:47,940 robbed. When? 191 00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:51,050 Well, like an hour ago. The dude held it up at gunpoint. 192 00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,430 Get out of here. Max and I were just there. 193 00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:56,890 Well, maybe you saw the guy. The cop said the guy was wearing jeans and a 194 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:57,890 leather jacket. 195 00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:02,290 George, you don't think that Eddie... No, no, no, no, no way. 196 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:06,230 And you know what the weird thing is? They say that the crook didn't just 197 00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:08,870 the cash. He took a bottle of wine and some flowers, too. 198 00:12:13,590 --> 00:12:16,450 It's circumstantial. Eddie's the greatest guy in the world. 199 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,820 And the witness says he saw the crook talking to a Mexican dude with his 200 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:22,200 girl just before he robbed him. 201 00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,300 Damn it! Max needs a haircut, I told you. 202 00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:34,100 Hey, where you going? Gotta go find my mom. I just sent her out with an armed 203 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:38,600 robber. George, he could kidnap her or kill her. Don't try to talk me out of 204 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,640 I still gotta find her. 205 00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,580 Hey. 206 00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:45,880 Let me ask you something. 207 00:12:46,980 --> 00:12:50,060 How would you feel if I decided to get married again? 208 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,220 Are you out of your mind? 209 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:57,500 You just met this woman online a few days ago. What do you even know about 210 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,780 Well, I know she's a stunning 27 -year -old who loves me. 211 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:09,420 27? 212 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,160 That's younger than me. 213 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,480 I know. 214 00:13:16,650 --> 00:13:19,070 Angie, if you met her, you would like her. 215 00:13:19,370 --> 00:13:21,030 She has exquisite taste. 216 00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:24,030 You should see the diamond bracelet she picked out. 217 00:13:25,530 --> 00:13:29,650 Judy, have you been buying her expensive jewelry? She only accepted the bracelet 218 00:13:29,650 --> 00:13:31,390 because she knew it made me happy. 219 00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,190 Same with the watch and the car. 220 00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:37,710 Oh, it's a two -year lease. Come on, save me the dramatics. 221 00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,510 No, it's not that. 222 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,110 It's just I've had a stomachache all day. 223 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:42,450 Really? 224 00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:46,010 You don't have any fever. How long have you been sick? 225 00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:49,310 Well, the past few mornings, it's just a little nauseous. 226 00:13:50,070 --> 00:13:51,810 Probably just a stomach bug. 227 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,490 Or maybe you're pregnant. 228 00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,170 Yeah, right. 229 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:06,350 I went to Thirsty's. I checked her apartment. I looked in her drawers. I 230 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,350 find my mom anywhere. 231 00:14:08,550 --> 00:14:12,830 I hope she's okay. How could you have no clue this guy was an armed robber? I 232 00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:14,210 saw the guy in the store for two minutes. 233 00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,760 Well, what about... when you were a kid. Were there any signs he was a criminal? 234 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,180 I mean, he dove in the bushes when the cops drove by. 235 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,740 He buried cash in the backyard and beat some dude with a bat who owed him money 236 00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,300 and he was a regular neighborhood guy. 237 00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:32,900 Mom, are you okay? 238 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,100 What are you talking about? He's a criminal. He robbed a convenience store. 239 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:39,600 Oh, I know. Why the hell do you think I got rid of him? You should have told me. 240 00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,380 Mom, I thought he kidnapped you. I called the police. 241 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,360 You did what? 242 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:48,719 Oh, please. 243 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,960 He shot fewer people than the vice president. 244 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,720 When did you call the cops? 245 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,460 About 20 minutes ago. Why? 246 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:01,020 I got to get out of here. Eddie is going to think that I turned him in, and when 247 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,860 the cops bust him, he's going to give me up. 248 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:07,260 What do you mean, give you up? Mom, you haven't done anything wrong. 249 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,540 Well... No, Mom, what did you do? 250 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:15,480 Rob a place, shoot someone? I know. You flash someone, and they kill themselves. 251 00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,210 I drove a getaway car once. 252 00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:25,730 I didn't know that he was robbing the place. He jumped in the car. He told me 253 00:15:25,730 --> 00:15:29,630 peel out. I did. Then I threw the gun out the window and I painted my car 254 00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:34,290 You didn't paint the car white. I painted it white. You told me you were 255 00:15:34,290 --> 00:15:35,290 teaching me karate. 256 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,710 Don't you understand what you have done? 257 00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:43,390 Mom, that was a long time ago. There's a statute of limitations. 258 00:15:44,190 --> 00:15:45,710 George, it was in Arizona. 259 00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:48,710 I crossed state lines. They can bust me any time. 260 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:55,020 They don't allow cigarettes in prison anymore. 261 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,920 I will die. 262 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,080 Mom, pick up. They're after Eddie, not you. 263 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:08,120 And even if you did get arrested, they would send you to a woman's prison. 264 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,440 All you'd have to worry about is that butchy woman who rolls the shower, and 265 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,440 that could be you. 266 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,200 Northern Vermont. 267 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,100 But I'm afraid to open it. 268 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,900 This is my last shot, Mom. 269 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,060 Not just for an education, for freedom. 270 00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:37,800 I can't party and pierce things in this house. I need to go away. 271 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:46,200 Carmen, if for some crazy reason they are stupid enough not to take you, then 272 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,020 your dad can pull some strings for you at Valley Community College. 273 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,240 You're a legacy. 274 00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:54,120 Mom! This place is a joke, and I didn't even apply. 275 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,820 It's not a joke, and you can always apply. 276 00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:01,020 I just got a coupon in the mail. It'll save you $10 on tuition, and we can get 277 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,020 our carpets cleaned. 278 00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:04,619 Come on, Vermont. 279 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,060 I want to do this alone. 280 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,960 Good luck, honey. 281 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,700 I can't get a hold of my mom. 282 00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:25,130 I need to talk to you. Wait, I gotta call Jack and Mel to find out what's 283 00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:26,089 on with the factory. 284 00:17:26,089 --> 00:17:27,310 It's pretty important. 285 00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:31,310 Yeah, more important than me losing my job? Yeah, this may be bigger than that. 286 00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:38,370 Remember last month when we were watching Mr. 287 00:17:38,610 --> 00:17:42,170 and Mrs. Smith and you chased me upstairs calling me Angelina? 288 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:48,330 Well, 289 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:49,950 Brad? 290 00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:57,630 I might be giving you what Jennifer wouldn't. 291 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,570 A Cambodian kid? 292 00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:06,970 No. 293 00:18:08,970 --> 00:18:10,570 I might be pregnant. 294 00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:14,470 What? Oh, no, hell no. Hey, hell no. 295 00:18:16,810 --> 00:18:19,810 You better hope that Brad and Angelina want a little Mexican kid for their 296 00:18:19,810 --> 00:18:21,850 collection because I'm not raising another one. 297 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,880 tell you in about five minutes. 298 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,220 What about the extra room? That was going to be my home theater. 299 00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:32,360 Your home theater? 300 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,880 How could you be so selfish? 301 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,780 What about what's going to happen to my body? 302 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,320 Oh, man, the hormones are already kicking in. 303 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,320 Mom, where you been? I've been calling you. George, the police are at my place. 304 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,400 I can't get inside. 305 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:54,540 I need cash quick. I gotta get out of town. Mom. Running away makes you look 306 00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,480 guilty. I already told you, I am guilty. 307 00:18:57,940 --> 00:19:01,500 Now give me 300 bucks and I'll call you after I buy a house in Guatemala. 308 00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:04,960 I'm not giving you any money. 309 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:06,920 George, I need your help. I'm not... 310 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,780 because it's going to look like I'm trying to get rid of a gun. 311 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,280 Hey, hey, I'll be right there, man. I've got to put some clothes on. 312 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,120 Okay, what else don't I know about? What did you do, steal a car, knock off a 313 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,180 bank? Maybe you've got a balloon full of heroin in your butt. 314 00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:54,400 Buy me some time, George. Lie. Make up something. 315 00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,020 Mom, I'm not lying to the police. 316 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,800 George, please, you've got to cover for me. George, please. 317 00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:02,000 I'm your mother. I raised you. 318 00:20:03,590 --> 00:20:05,070 You know, you're not helping yourself there. 319 00:20:12,150 --> 00:20:15,590 George, call me. I just went through Mel and Jack's desk. 320 00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:17,810 They're moving the company to Mexico. 321 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:21,750 I can't lose my job. What am I going to do? What are you going to do? 322 00:20:49,550 --> 00:20:53,510 Well, Lindsay, there is something I have to ask you. 323 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:14,790 Are you George Lopez? 324 00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:16,530 Yes. 325 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,670 We're looking for your mother. Do you know where she is? 326 00:21:20,669 --> 00:21:22,710 Why, did somebody order a stripper grub? 327 00:21:24,350 --> 00:21:28,990 I get it. You hold a boombox while Officer Grindit here gets down to a G 328 00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:29,990 -street. 329 00:21:31,530 --> 00:21:35,650 We have Eddie Carter in custody and we want to talk to your mother. Is she 330 00:21:38,850 --> 00:21:42,370 Mr. Lopez, if you know where she is and you don't tell us, you're an accomplice.